One of the first obstacles to helping alcoholics is helping them admit the problem.

Most people’s alcohol problem progresses because they refuse to accept there is a problem in the first place. And whether you’re a therapist, a family member, a friend, or the patient yourself, denial is one of the most frustrating things.

Too often, when you confront someone about an alcohol problem, the first instinct is to be defensive. We seldom look at ourselves and admit we have a problem that is too much for us to handle.

Honesty is one of the first things an alcoholic usually foregoes. It begins from little lies to themselves like, “I can quit anytime I want…I don’t drink as much as that guy….” Later, as the habit progresses, they begin to hide it from those around them. They can pretend to not drink as much as they do, not drink when around certain people or hide their drinking altogether.

In these situations, the act of denial itself is the signal that the person knows something is wrong. After all, if you didn’t have a problem, why the need to lie about it?

If you find yourself or someone you care about in this position, remember that acceptance is the first step and the first person you need to bravely admit to is yourself. If it is someone you know, let them feel that you are not judging or labeling them. Confront them with compassion. Denial is a frustrating hurdle to get over but it is the dam that needs to break in order to let the water flow.